Let me tell you, doing the inner work is by no means an easy walk in the park. If I’ve learned anything from my own journey, it’s that healing can feel like the hardest, most uncharted path to navigate. But here’s the thing: it’s also one of the most rewarding. To get where I am today—and by no means am I where I want to be, but I’m grateful I’m not where I used to be—it has taken years of rollercoaster highs and lows. And I’ve often found myself asking, “Are we there yet?” in all severity, feeling exhausted by the ride.
The Rollercoaster Ride of Self-Discovery
The journey of inner work has been filled with moments of progress, followed by setbacks that made me question if I was really making any headway. There have been times when I’ve had to step back and take a break from the grind of working on myself, allowing myself to rest and recharge. But recently, I’ve come to realize that those pauses are an essential part of the journey, too.
Sometimes we need to take a break from the rigid routines we’ve created and just be. Just breathe, just exist, without constantly analyzing or pushing ourselves to heal. That rest is not a sign of failure—it’s a chance to gather strength for the next step forward. And honestly, who among us hasn’t needed that pause, that moment of stillness?
Revisiting Old Wounds: A Necessary Part of Healing
But here’s where it gets real: how many of us really put in the work on ourselves to the extent of revisiting old wounds, especially from our childhood? I’m talking about going back to the parts of ourselves that were hurt or broken by people we trusted—people we thought had our best interests at heart. It’s painful work, to dig up those old memories, those buried emotions, and face them head-on.
What I’ve come to realize on this journey is that hurt people hurt people. And while that doesn’t excuse the pain they caused, it does help me understand it a little better. It has allowed me to empathize with their struggles, even as I’ve decided to take responsibility for cleaning up the mess they left behind. And that mess? It’s me. The traumas they caused, the wounds that have festered and grown because I didn’t even know they were there, or because I tried to tuck them away, hoping I’d never have to deal with them again.
Blaming Myself, Then Letting Go
For a long time, I blamed myself for allowing those wounds to get so bad. I thought, “If only I’d been stronger, if only I’d known better.” But the truth is, I didn’t have control over a lot of what happened. Some wounds were inflicted when I was too young to understand, too innocent to know better. I buried those hurts deep inside, thinking that if I ignored them long enough, they’d disappear. But that’s not how healing works.
Eventually, those buried wounds found their way to the surface, demanding my attention. It was time to clean them out, to face the pain and let myself feel it, instead of continuing to push it away. And as painful as that process has been, it’s also been freeing. It’s allowed me to confront the past and, slowly but surely, start to heal those wounds once and for all.
Why the Inner Work Matters
Doing the inner work is not about achieving some perfect state of peace or becoming a version of yourself that never struggles. It’s about learning to understand yourself on a deeper level, accepting your imperfections, and giving yourself permission to heal at your own pace. It’s about recognizing that taking a break doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re honoring your need for rest.
If you’re on this journey of healing, I want you to know that it’s okay to take it slow. It’s okay to pause and catch your breath. It’s okay to revisit those old wounds when you’re ready, knowing that you’re doing it for you. Not for anyone else, not to prove anything to the world—but to reclaim the parts of yourself that were hurt and to finally give them the care they deserve.
A Journey Worth Taking
The road to healing is winding, unpredictable, and at times, exhausting. But it’s also worth every tear, every moment of discomfort, and every breath you take along the way. Because when you come out on the other side—even if you’re not where you want to be yet—you’ll find a version of yourself that’s more whole, more compassionate, and more at peace with who you are.
So, if you find yourself on this journey, don’t give up. Trust that every step you take is bringing you closer to the healing you deserve. And remember, you’re not alone in this.
As we continue on this journey of inner work, it’s also important to nurture ourselves with intentional self-care. That’s why I’m thrilled to invite you to join my November Self-Care Challenge, starting November 4th! Each day, we’ll focus on simple, meaningful practices to help you reconnect, recharge, and support the inner work you’re doing. I’d love for you to join in—together, we’ll make self-care a priority and end the year feeling more balanced and grounded.
It is definitely hard this work but you are right. It is so worth it!
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